2/27/2020 12:27:28 AM

Less than $200... Here we are in the home stretch. So close and so real! When I look back at all the discouragement I faced, all the questioning and wondering, all the frustration with how difficult it seemed and now to be here. To be close and know it's going to happen, that I will see that $0, I'm just blown away! I think I definitely let money distract me. Growing up money was a constant worry and to not have my funds where I needed them when I wanted them made me scared. They say anger and frustration are really an emotion that cover the true emotions. If I would have trusted God more, maybe then the money part wouldn't have distracted me. Trusting to God to provide is one of the hardest things I have to do, but at the same time, letting Him provide has shown me just how powerful He is and how He can do this thing better than I ever could. I can't rush Him or force His hand. I wish I would have had a better attitude about the whole thing. That makes me even more thankful for how He has still responded and has provided for this trip even after I all but gave up. He delights in showing mercy, and it's His kindness that leads us to repentance. Often growing up when I didn't get my way exactly how I wanted it, I would throw a huge fit, and that's exactly what I did. This put me in a bad place spiritually and I hit burn out. To know, no matter what happens, it's going to be ok and I will be in Bethlehem in less than 3 months is the weirdest feeling I've had in a long time, but it is the most peaceful feeling as well. I'm thankful that God is so faithful! Now as I look ahead, I am looking at ways to prepare for this trip that have nothing to do with money. They enemy uses money to distract us in horrible ways. I am now working on preparing my heart and mind for what is to come, allowing God to lead me into some places of deep healing and spiritual cleansing. I don't know what the future holds when I'm there, but I know it's gotta be good for the attack to have been as strong as it was. There is still alot going on in my life. I work overtime, I'm a part time college student who is getting her first degree this semester. And as a college dropout, this makes me very excited!! The stress level is high though as I currently have two classes that if I don't pass I won't graduate. I'm also not worried too much though as God told me when I went back to school that He wasn't leading me to fail. I'm asking for prayers as I continue to prepare for what is to come and I cannot wait to share it all with you! May God bless you with love, peace, and happiness!

2/19/2020 2:38:48 PM

I can't believe I'll be flying out in 90 days! That is mind blowing!! Over a year since I've been accepted and I'm so close. This trip is becoming so real and I'm just amazed at how God has provided for me. Two months ago I was wondering if I had misheard God, if this trip is the one I was suppose to go on? I was so worn out from trying to fund-raise, exhausted and worn out. Why was it so hard? And I still needed over $3000. Today God has gave me more than enough confirmation and I need less than $700. The support and love from people in my life has been overwhelming. Sometimes though, I find myself wanting to be more overwhelmed, if that makes sense? to cry about the goodness of God. But He's used this time to show me I can be overwhelmed in another way. I can be overwhelmed with excitement! I'm beyond excited for this trip, the only word I can describe is excited when I think about it all! Being overwhelmed with excitement and joy is a way of being overwhelmed, and it feels good!! God has also been preparing my heart for this trip, taking me to some places I need to go and helping me with deep healing. I am preparing my self for a heart cleanse shortly so I can be fully spiritually prepared for this trip. I look forward to the many ways that God will show me more of who He is and how He will continue to change me and my heart. The song on replay right now is Goodness of God by Jenn Johnson. He is good and He is faithful!

2/4/2020 3:53:28 AM

Good morning sunshine! I am still reeling from the amazing God filled weekend I had! So much worship, so much love, so much overwhelming blessings and surprises! God is so good!! This weekend alone over $650 dollars was donated to my trip!! That makes a total of $1684 since December 23!! I have less than $1500 to raise! Can you tell I'm excited! Lol Wow the past couple nights I kept playing it over and over in my head and it's just so surreal. It doesn't make sense. I have't had to do a meal, sell shirts, or a yard sale for any of it. At one point it was person after person was saying "here is a donation". I had to fight to keep back the tears. To think where I was at 3 months ago, trying to think of what God really wanted me to do. So sure, it wasn't this. How can a girl with mortgage, and school, and who works overtime plan to go on a month long mission trip? God! None of it makes sense, but God's ways rarely ever do. The past week, I had an issue with my electrical and not even that really got to me. That night as I prayed God reminded me He is the God that parts the Red Sea and the He will fight for me, I just need to be still (Exodus 14:14). A song that broke me this weekend was Goodness of God by Jenn Johnson and I woke up with it playing in my head. I sometimes have to remind myself, I'm still a pretty young Christian. Not even 4 years saved yet, but God has been good and He is teaching me and preparing me, He is working even if I don't see it. Now, as God is constantly proving me wrong whenever I bring up a reason why I struggle to trust Him, I'm now praying He continues to prove me wrong and change my heart in preparation for this trip. Today I saw EM add info about the travel dates, training and debrief info and I got so excited again as all of this is making the trip so real!!! I want to be ready to do what ever God needs me to and to receive anything He has for me. God bless y'all with love, peace, and happiness!

1/21/2020 7:28:05 PM

I’m kind of in awe of how God works today. I know I just posted another update but already I got another significant donation. It really left me speechless and fighting tears. I remember fundraising in the middle of last year, and everything seemed so difficult. I was struggling, I became so discouraged. I questioned, I doubted, and I was so sure I had messed up somehow. I got tired and worn out, putting in so much time and energy and it felt like pulling teeth. Funny enough, I was right where God wanted me.

I was so used to working hard to provide what was necessary and I was depending more on me and my abilities than God’s. I was not giving Him the space to do what only He can do. Even right now, I’ve been thinking about using my tax refund to make up what’s left and I heard Him say, “You keep trying to do things instead of letting me do them.” It was a heart check. It’s so scary for me letting God provide, to trust Him. But He is faithful! In less than a month He has provided over $1000. I have not had to work for any of it. It’s honestly weird and I’m having trouble wrapping my head around it…

I’m so thankful for those who have donated, the ones who have been so generous, the ones who have been saving for me for months without me knowing. The goodness of their hearts shining through with the love of Jesus! Even though it is weird, I am enjoying pondering it, mediating on what is happening, watching God do it instead of myself. I’m not tired, worn out, and overwhelmed by what’s left.

I’ve realized this trip is so much bigger than me and the reason I know that is I completely underestimated it, the time, energy, and my need for God to do it. The spiritual warfare has been intense, but so has God’s love! My God’s will, will be done! I am so thankful for His grace as I dealt with my fears and doubt, for His faithfulness, providing His peace, restoring my faith that this is what He wants me to do, and it has always been what He wants me to do. Faith is my theme for the year of 2020, and as I read through Hebrews, I’m excited for what God will show me and how He will strengthen my faith! Much Love, Peace, and Happiness to you al

1/21/2020 9:35:10 AM

Well it has been awhile since I have updated everyone on everything. I'm not going to lie, I almost gave up on this trip. I knew I had heard God say I'm going to go to the Middle East one day, but I tend to get ahead of God and wondered if I once again tried rushing what He was wanting to do. I was so burnt out, I had started a new job, and with school I never had time. I took some time off to pray and seek God. God, I want to go on this trip, but what do you want. In December, He made it very clear. Within a little over a month God provided over $500 to go towards the trip, completely out of nowhere! I was amazed and knew I had to try again. It has taken a lot of faith to get back into the mindset. But this trial has shown me so much about who God is. I'm very independent, definitely to a fault. He has shown me, for what He's called me to do, I can't depend on myself, I have to depend on Him! It's not negotiable. He has shown me that obedience isn't easy but He is patient to teach and show me how to walk it out. He has shown me I can't focus on the "what if it doesn't happen", I need to allow myself to think "what if it does". It's scary,yes, I worry about building up my hopes to be hurt by disappointment, especially when I'm wrong, but as I read through Hebrews, not once did He not keep a promise! He has reminded me just how much He loves me and cares for me and wants to take care of me. I'm not use to doing things His way, but since taking a breather and steeping back, letting Him have room, He has shown just how amazing He can be! I'm very excited for whats ahead as I continue to fund-raise, to see how I don't have to fear the mountain in front of me, that I can trust Him more than myself. That's been my prayer. God, I've been struggling to trust You. Prove me wrong! And He has gladly been doing that!! May God bless y'all with love, peace, and happiness!

8/20/2019 10:59:43 AM

The last couple months I have taken some time off from fundraising. between fundraising for both Honduras and then Palestine had left me exhausted. Oh how good it was, to rest, to relax, and just breath. Now though I'm ready to get back in the game! This past weekend I had a yard sale that was very successful in so many ways! Not only did I raise over $500, but I also saw God help in a way I needed to see Him work. I was so exhausted from fundraising because the past couple months, I felt like I was doing things by myself. I felt alone and I prayed for help and it seemed so many times it just never worked out.

God has been really trying to help me learn to trust and depend fully on Him and me being Miss independent, I've struggle. The start of my yard sale, I thought I was gonna end up in the same situation. It was an attack and I tried to pray for strength to endure and peace, because the only thought that kept going through my head was, "God, you want me to depend on You, but here I am again doing it all by myself. I don't understand."

Boy, did God show up! Not only did He give me strength to endure in the midst of the struggle, but He did provide another pair of hands! Someone I didn't know was coming showed up and was a huge help! Through out the day, He continued to provide hands to help me. Someone fixed my sign by the road, leading to more foot traffic. Someone who brought me a Pepsi, another bought me lunch. He provided people to come and sit with me and more than enough cars to quickly clean up and take all that was left to the Goodwill! I am still so thankful for the people He has brought in my life and who so sacrificially helped me on a hot, muggy day!

A few years ago God told me He was giving me a family, people to help me, love me, and support me. He has, and I'm so sad to say I'm still so scared to ask them for help. I don't want to be let down and I don't want to become like a problem. I don't want to be laughed at and mocked or made to feel weak and stupid because I need help. These emotions and fears are some of the issues from my past and it's not fair that I have put them on the ones I now have in my life, the people God has given to me and I'm so sorry for it. Sometimes depending on God means depending on the ones He has given me. It's a scary place for me but at the same time to feel the love of my Abba, through the hands of others, has reminded me how important Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is:

v.9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. v.10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. v.11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? v.12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

This fundraising journey is almost halfway done, and I have seen so many places I am still weak, so many places I have to learn and grow. But it's hear I see Him work in ways I need and watch Him change my heart and my ways. In my weakness, He is made strong.

Pray y'all have a blessed day full of love, peace, and happiness!

5/18/2019 2:43:05 PM

Been a little bit since I've done an update. There's been a lot going on in my life lately, a lot of transitions, all of them good, some of them harder than others. I left my job of three years for a new one that is completely out of my comfort zone, but I'm really excited for something new! I also got a second job as I am currently trying to get out of debt. I also had to almost completely change my mission trip this year. It was a rough couple days trying to work all that out.

Last summer I went on my first ever out of country mission trip to Honduras. It was life changing and I made plans to go back next month, last year. Well a little over a week ago I was informed that I really wouldn't be able to go to the same place as last year. I was heartbroken, I fought back tears as I tried to pray and think about what to do next. Thankfully I have a friend that use to live in Honduras full time as a missionary. I didn't want to lose out on my ticket, so I messaged her and she got me the information of another mission group down there. I started messaging them and realized I would have to change my dates. I called Delta to see how much it would be with the changing fee and paying the ticket price difference. God showed such favor when they waived the $200 flight change fee and it was only a $54 difference to make up! Praise the Lord! I then allowed myself to cry, but these were tears of joy! Tears of gratitude and thankfulness because of what my God did for me! His ways are higher, and what the enemy will use for evil, He will use for good.

The past year since leaving Honduras the first time, God has really shown me a deep understanding for His faithfulness to me, what it means to Him, to be in covenant with me. It blows my mind that I fail Him daily, and He loves me. He doesn't want me to feel overwhelmed and alone because He wants to do this life with me. My God is faithful to me and it'll never change, because He won't change. He chooses to love me the exact same all the time. Romans 8:38-39 tells me not even the angels can separate me from His love, no matter what "level" I'm on (height or depth), His love is the same as the day we first entered into covenant together. It's such a beautiful thing to see the ways that He loves me and His commitment to me. I'm not use to praying about things, I'm very independent, but He is faithful and patient to show me that one, I can't do this life without Him, and two He is willing to help me. Seeing His faithfulness to me has given me more peace about trusting Him, having faith in His promises to me.

As crazy as everything is, I'm thankful for it, it's teaching me more about who God is then I ever knew was possible.

Looking forward to the next couple of fundraising events I am having in the next month and being back in Honduras in three weeks.

Much Love and God Bless!
Sarah Bee Kollmann

4/25/2019 11:07:51 AM

Hey Y'all!!

Last night was a night that was kinda discouraging. Someone made a Facebook comment about one of my fundraising posts and my meal last night wasn't what I had hoped for. I'm not use to this yet, fundraising for the trips, but I want to testify how God turned my discouragement into encouragement.

As I was dealing with the discouragement, the Holy Spirit drew me to Ephesians 6. It's one of my favorite passages and I looked at it in the Passion Translation for the first time. It reads,

"Now my beloved ones, I have saved these most important truths for last: Be supernaturally infused with strength through your life-union with the Lord Jesus. Stand victorious with the force of His explosive power flowing in and through you.

11 Put on God’s complete set of armor provided for us, so that you will be protected as you fight against the evil strategies of the accuser! 12 Your hand-to-hand combat is not with human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms.For they are a powerful class of demon-gods and evil spirits that hold this dark world in bondage. 13 Because of this, you must wear all the armor that God provides so you’re protected as you confront the slanderer, for you are destined for all things and will rise victorious."

Last night I prayed on my armor and asked God for fortitude and perseverance. I found comfort in knowing this discouragement meant that I am in the middle of God's will for my life and with this trip. This morning, He took that discouragement and gave me encouragement. Someone gave me food for my next meal, and to see how many people stood with me on Facebook was a blessing! God is faithful and I'm excited that He's teaching me a deeper understanding of faith, what it means when you ignore your eyes and focus of His truth! He is faithful and watching Him show me how He provides is so amazing!!

Until next time;

Much Love and God Bless!

Sarah Bee Kollmann

4/19/2019 5:22:34 PM

I am very blown away and touched tonight by how many people have donated in this last fundraiser to try and reach halfway of my goal by the end of summer. I'm not gonna lie, I have been discouraged by trying to come up with ideas that would help me to reach this goal that is so much more than I've ever had to raise before. This past month, all the generous donations, have been so uplifting and encouraging. sometimes I feel like I'm pushing myself too much, trying to reach the goal as soon as possible, but God is showing me that He will provide and to not fret. This summer is going to be exciting with the car wash and the yard sale. I'm still praying about a movie night or a worship night fundraiser in July, I really am hoping to do the worship night more, but it's difficult to find a church. I'll keep praying and see what God would like to do. Till the next update, God Bless and much love!

3/19/2019 4:19:45 PM

Starting early on the fundraising! Already made over 300$ from my fundraising dinners. Working on coming up with new events to help me reach my goal!